Ask Alison, April 2010

Picture a world where men could understand what women want. (As I write I’m conjuring up hilarious images of Mel Gibson shaving his legs in the film of the same name!)

Imagine how different life would be- no arguments, flowers every week, sharing of household chores, bathing the kids and more importantly some genuine respect and appreciation for who we are and the important roles we play.

Now, just for a minute put yourself in the blokes shoes. How about if we women could understand what men want! Imagine how different life would be- an evening meal on the table after work, a tidy home, an attractive wife, the kids put to bed and all in time for an early night with enough energy left for some action under the covers. And of course some genuine respect and appreciation for who they are and the important roles they play.

I know these examples are pretty stereotypical but I think you can see where I’m coming from. I guess what I’m trying to say is that what men and women both want isn’t that different.

Both want

• To have some understanding of their needs and desires
• Thoughtfulness with the routines of daily living
• Kindness and support
• Genuine respect
• Appreciation

So how do you ensure both men and women do get what they want within a relationship?

1. Communication-say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t be mean when you say it (Meryl Runion)
2. Neither men nor women are psychic! Ask for what you want
3. Swap shoes for a day- see how it feels from the others perspective
4. Who else can help? Can friends or family assist with any of the needs/wants you have from your partner?
5. You can have your cake and eat it! Decide what you both want, sharpen your negotiations skills and give and take a little. You’re bound to get some of what you want some of the time!

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