Ask Alison September

What happens when the relationship you’re in looses its spark? Do you
A, walk away?
B, dig deep and hang on in there?
C, take action?

So, what did you pick? A, B, or C

Let’s look at the likely outcomes of each answer.

A-walk away

Sounds easy doesn’t it? Say you’ve been married some time and over the last few years you’ve had children, acquired a mortgage and lead pretty busy lives. The magic’s faded and life has become humdrum. Walking away certainly appears a favourable option. Wouldn’t it be great for Prince Charming to come along and sweep you off your feet, leaving behind the mundane trail of familiarity?

For a while life with Prince Charming could indeed be exciting, romantic and fairytale like. But what happens when he starts to put on a few pounds, looses his hair and has more interest in the TV or his job than you?

Would you walk away again?

B- You’re not the type to walk away but you feel powerless to do anything about your dull marriage. You believe he should be the one to make the first move, bring you flowers and take you out for a surprise lunch. He doesn’t and so you resign yourself to the fact that that’s your lot and you’ll have to make do, except winge! That’s the end of it and nothing can be done to change it. Sound familiar?

C- Take Action-

Okay. You’re not happy with how things have turned out after having such idyllic notions of wedded bliss. Cleaning toothpaste from the wash basin, picking up dirty undies off the floor and removing skid marks from the toilet isn’t your idea of a romantic life for two! So what are you going to do about it?

By taking action you are taking charge of your responsibility to make the marriage not just work, but to work well. You are taking responsibility for your own happiness and deciding to live an independent life which doesn’t depend on the actions of others- even your husband. Can you imagine how liberating that can be? No more being let down, no more unfulfilled expectations and no more if only’s.

You can steer the marriage in the direction you’d like it to go. You can surprise your husband on his lunch break, arrange a romantic night in or go up, up and away in your beautiful balloon!

Taking action means that you can lead your life instead of following and waiting for others to make the first move. You may not change the way your husband behaves but you will feel so much better about yourself and the future of your marriage. Your marriage has much more opportunity to thrive if one of you act now.

So today, what will you do? Walk away, do nothing or act on creating a rewarding relationship?

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