Ask Alison- August

Whilst on holiday in Cumbria I had an unexpectedly profound moment. My husband, Paul had decided to take me to the summit of Hellvelyn. For those of you who enjoy climbing mountains you’ll know this one is 950 metres high and the third highest in England.

I’m all for the outdoors and love running, walking and cycling but hadn’t been so far from sea level in a very long time. We set off and took in every breathtaking aspect of the scenery. Idyllic lakes, wooded glades and endless blue skies (yes even in the lakes!). We spotted occasional farm buildings, winding rivers and cars and people along a road which weaved its way between the mountain peaks.

So what was the profound moment you might be asking? What struck me was the different perspective we had of our surroundings as the path took us nearer and nearer the peak. At first, the farm buildings seemed quite large as did the cars and the river. The further we climbed, the smaller they appeared. The buildings, cars and river hadn’t changed- our perspective had.

It made me think about our perceptions in relationships and how often we see others, even those we love, from a very rigid perspective. And yet if we are able to climb higher, change the way we look upon others, we get an entirely different aspect. As Paul and I puffed and panted our way to the top we saw the same view with a vast array of outlooks. We were amazed at the limited viewpoint from the ground and the difference that the changing aspects made.

Today, try climbing higher in your relationships. This will cost you in terms of personal development. It’s easy to want others to change their behaviour rather than for us to alter our perspective. Just like Paul and I stretched ourselves in order to reach the summit, after three and a half hours of grueling effort, the views and the sheer sense of achievement were well worth it. In the same way, you too can have an amazing marriage as you work on your own character and learn to be flexible in your perspective.

If you value your relationship, and I have every confidence that you do, change your view point, see situations and problems from all aspects. Climb higher than where you are at the moment and aim for the best possible marriage.

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