I’m a professional cynic, but my heart’s not in it.

‘I’m a professional cynic, but my heart’s not in it’*.

This well-known lyric from my Britpop days started going round in my head today.  I think something in my memory bank was triggered when I was contemplating New Year’s Resolutions.  I’m the one who says I’m not making any.  I get tired of the same old healthy intentions everywhere I look.  I’m the one who’s taking a break from Instagram because it’s succeeding in doing what I feared it would – bringing out bad traits in me and leaving me feeling inadequate, judgemental, or jealous. I catch myself believing the worst about people, situations or events and thinking they’ll never change.

But my heart’s not in it. I don’t want to be a cynic.  I feel like Paul in Romans 7:15 when he says, ‘what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do’.  Cynicism seems to kill potential, imagination and hope.  When we adopt a cynical approach to life, it drains the optimism out of those around us and allows us to settle for a jaded view of life and a complacency towards the things that deserve our perseverance.

What is actually in my heart is a love for God and for his children – the people all around me. When I cry, it’s because something touches my heart and I’m moved. I’m still very soft-hearted.  My heart is ‘not in’ being a cynic, it’s a phase I’m finding myself in.   Sometimes, when we are being cynical about the situations and people around us, I think we’re trying to protect ourselves from facing hurts and being honest.

What is your ‘heart in’?  One of my groups of friends from church has been sharing what God has put on their hearts for this year.  Their vulnerability in sharing these things has helped get my heart back ‘in it’.  It’s great when our resolutions centre around our relationship with God (strengthen the foundations of our faith, start a new women’s group), rather than our own gains (fiitter, faster, thinner). After reading this short article, you can probably tell me what God has put on my heart!  And it’s funny that he used the lyrics from Country House to show me what it is!

Maybe for you it’s something different…

‘I’m a ______________(insert current struggle), but my hearts not in it’.

Admit the area you’re struggling with.  Thank God that He lives in your heart and ask  what else you could get your heart into this year – for Him.


*Country House, Blur, 1995

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