Ask Alison – June

Clever communication: What is it and how can it help my marriage?

You’d be surprised at how many relationships start to go belly up because us girls (and those guys) don’t know how to communicate effectively. Even if your relationship isn’t on the rocks (yet!), poor communication techniques may be contributing to a build up of tension, trouble and tears.

Clever, or effective communication can bring an openness and air of trust when you create a channel for them to flourish. Remember last time we talked about love being a doing word as well as a feeling word? Well this is your opportunity to put your love into action. I’ve given 3 tips on how to communicate with your words and 3 tips on how to communicate with your body language. Let your communication bridge the gap to a richer relationship.


1.Say what you mean- often we go around the houses to avoid a reaction or we are totally insensitive. If you want to spend more time together then say so!

2.Mean what you say-only say what you are willing to follow through on.

3.Don’t be mean when you say it- avoid sarcasm, overkill, assumption of guilt and dragging up past mistakes.

Body language:

1.Keep an open and relaxed stance when talking- engage eye contact, shoulders and hands at ease and have a warm facial expression. Avoid looking matronly (erect, haughty chin and arms folded) or weak and lacking confidence (rounded shoulders, head down, no eye contact)

2.Stand or sit at the same level. Avoid being taller than hubby if you’re cross with him. You will come across like his mother! Don’t let him tower over you either.

3.Keep your tone of voice calm and controlled. Much of our communicating is interpreted through how we sound. Imagine you are asking hubby to ‘pass the vinegar please’ next time you want to scream ‘why did you stay out so late?

Already we’ve helped with some of your relationship queries. Keep them coming in.

‘Thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting in touch with me. I feel very encouraged by your plan’ Julie

Scroll to Top

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.